I am a huge advocate for self-confidence and the journey of self discovery. One of the reasons I am so passionate about loving yourself is because it took me a long time to find that self-love. Throughout high school, I never felt like I fit in anywhere. I felt a massive amount of anxiety over the thought of walking through the jam-packed cafeteria. I would avoid the main halls and find alternate routes to get to my classes without having to walk past all the kids I never found a place with.
I was constantly worried about what other people thought of me, to the point where I would leave bags of clothes in my car and often times would change my outfit several times before walking into school. Mind you, I drove a slug bug. You could barely sit in that thing, let alone pull a head to toe outfit switch. I don’t think I ever felt what it was like to feel confident until I graduated high school. Graduating brought about a whole new Sydney. A Sydney I never knew existed. A Sydney I never thought would be doing what I’m doing right now. A Sydney I loved.
I started to realize that I was so much happier when I didn’t care what people thought. I felt so much prettier when I was able to walk freely and openly with my chin up and eyes forward. I wasn’t able to feel that confidence that everyone looks for until I figured out how to love myself. I found what I was good at and that I could fit in with people who share my same interests and skills. I found my style and realized it doesn’t have to be the most expensive brands . I found good friends and realized the number of friends you have doesn’t define you. If you would have told me in high school that just a short years time later, I would have found out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, been on live television and started a blog for the whole world to see I would think you were crazy. The Sydney that most people that knew me growing up and in high school, would have told you that I was shy. They would have told you that I would never go out of my comfort zone. I wouldn’t have. It wasn’t until I loved myself that I realized what was possible. Now, I talk in class every chance I get. I take every oppotunity I can to meet someone new (partially because networking is now a part of my DNA).
I may make it sound easy and I am going to set things straight right now. It wasn’t easy. For some, it is easier than others. It doesn’t just take putting on the right pair of jeans or posting a selfie with really bomb lighting to feel true self-confidence. Obviously, I am a firm believer in “look good, feel good”, but hiding yourself in clothes or lack of, selfies and Tinder date after Tinder date won’t help you find yourself. It won’t help you find your confidence. Respect and love for yourself, that’s what will.
So here’s a few tips I have compiled that helped me to find myself and boost my self-confidence. Abide by these rules and you’ll feel like a brand new woman in no time:
- Stop caring so much about what other people think.
You are the only person who gets to judge yourself.You get to judge yourself, because you wrote your own book. You are the author of your life. So much time is wasted worrying about what irrelevant people’s opinion of you might be. Most of the time, they don’t even know more than your first and last name. Think about that.
2. You don’t have to post it to prove it.
I realize how ironic that is considering I am involved in an aspect of social media where likes and followers are extremely important, but I promise your engagement on social media does not define who you are as a person.
3. Be comfortable with your body, but be healthy.
Love your body flaws and all. I have recently found a love for the gym I never knew I had in me. Run your guts out. Eat kale, but also take care of your body physically, mentally and emotionally. Your body is the shell you were given to show to the world. Respect it and nurture it in every way possible.
4. Never let another person dictate your happiness and self-worth.
Again, you wrote the book so only you can judge. Do not revolve your life around someone who is not making you smile, laugh and love your life every single day. You are so much better than that. You are worth gold my friend, so act like it.
5. Find something you love to do and do more of it.
I didn’t find the self-confidence and love for myself I yearned for until I discovered what I was good at. I’ll tell you, it was a lot of work. I didn’t find something I was really good at in life until I was 18 years old. I wasn’t a dance prodigy or a soccer star, but I found my niche. I found solace and happiness is writing and what I could create with words. It is possible even if it takes years.
6. You don’t need to justify anything to anyone.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation or reasoning behind what you do, unless it’s your mom and you still have a curfew, haha. Never apologize or make excuses for who you are.
7. Step outside of your comfort zone.
This can be the most vulnerable thing you will ever do in your life, but arguably one of the best things you will do for yourself. Start small, take baby steps, but then spread those dang wings and fly. Jump out of a plane or something.
8. Embrace your diversity and style.
I have such an intense passion for fashion. I enjoy creating outfits in my head and applying them in real life. I love seeing how each individual expresses their different style. It’s literally an art form. What you put on your body says so much about you, so embrace it and make sure you are presenting a message you want people to know about you.
9. Role down your windows and sing at the top of your lungs. (Thanks for the inspo, This Is Us)
If you haven’t watched NBC’s newest series This Is Us, you need to. It will change your life and your way of thinking. It will challenge you to be a better person and never think twice about who you are.
10. Be unapologetically you.
This speaks for itself. You are the only you out there. Strut down those halls, sing in the shower and rock those boyfriend jeans you don’t think you can pull off. I would never have the guts or the courage to do what I am doing right now if I didn’t discover myself and the confidence I had waiting to bloom inside me.
As promised, I have created a platfrom where I can cureate content that is worth reading, but also give you fashion inspiratioin. Here are my looks for this weekend up in Park City, Utah for lunch.
XO- Sydney Lauren